Terrified Dad

Perhaps it’s because we hardly ever go out anymore. Or maybe it’s to do with the fumes from the amount of baby poo we have to deal with. Or it could just be down to pure exhaustion through lack of sleep, but our conversation has turned from the banal to the surreal over the last week or so.

Having sat through the blockbusting pile of dirge that is the film ‘Knowing’, starring Nicholas Cage my partner Becky and I ended up having a rather heated argument about alien abduction.

In all fairness the argument was probably brought on by A: All the reasons I have already listed and B: Being new parents, when you actually do get two whole hours to yourself the last thing you want to do is waste it watching a pile of crap – Whoops! There goes two hours of my life I’m never getting back!

Anyhoo, you are probably thinking that the argument centred around whether alien abduction does or does not exist or if people who say they have been abducted by aliens are simply all crack pots. Oh no, that would be far too sensible. Our argument was about if we knew the world was inevitably going to be burned to a crisp by rogue solar flares and aliens happened to pop along and chose our son Noah to be abducted so that the human race could continue on another planet in a different galaxy would I let him go?

I should have realised that this was a clever ploy by Becky to lure me into a lose, lose situation – such a female way of arguing. When I ventured that I would send our own little Noah off in a new age alien ark to start over Becky was aghast that I could let our only child go so easily. When I hastily recanted this argument and said I would want him to stay on the doomed planet earth with us she was horrified that I would not want my son to live through the impending destruction of our fair, green planet.

Being a parent is a wonderful journey. When else would you end up sleeping on a sofa having fallen out over differing points of view on a solar induced armageddon?